Springheadmedia: Be Nostradamus for fun and profit.

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Tough_love_2004
Worst lie I ever told?
"Passing fake cheques at my local Reb Lobster"

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» Be Nostradamus for fun and profit.
A lot of people seem to have faith in the prophecies of Nostradamus, coke addled fiend of the 16th Century. Most ( if not all ) of what Mr Nostradamus came up with was complete dope fuelled arse. But, it can also be a good money spinner and impress the ladies. So, in true entrepreneurial spirit, here are my prophecies for the years to come. If they come true, you will all pay me $10. If not, I'll buy you a pint of beer and a bag of ready salted peanuts.

The year 20 hundred and 05. The eleventh month. From the mouth of the reborn student will purge forth sickening ale. And kebab. The keepers of the keys will summon yellow carriage which will refuse passage to the homeland unless the prophet pays $60 upfront for the cost of cleaning the inside of the carriage, lo that any other ale and kebab surfaces. The demise of the locality of the student passes once the carriage leaves with the student embalmed within. Now the other voices rise like the oceans, and a member of the party of the reborn student query the vision of another fellow in regards to his girlfriend, and whether said vision relates to staring at her ample bosoms, the fists shall fly and teeth shall hit the concrete. The $60 will not be returned.

The year 20 hundred and 10. The oddness of the month permutates to the number within. A vision of jokes shall be projected forthwith onto the glowing screen of a nation. The vision shall be repeated everynight at the hour of the fat women (9 eastern), and the laughter will become ever thinner, mocking shall replace the void as the unwilling realise they have seen the same thing for the last frickin' year. A small dog will be unneccessary in it's voice, causing anguish and pain amongst the nearby dwellers. A feline will be unrepentant in its destruction of an armchair and may induce the accelerate of fur in ball form. Charlie will surf, and may enjoy it.
The year 20 hundred and 13. An idol of pop will presume to induce the spirit of the christ in the form of a disc, which shall promptly be placed with a bin of bargain at a local Zellers. A sock in league with another sock of equal value and style will be presented to a male, who will induce a faux feeling of gratitude so as not to offend the maturnal giver of said items. A worker will over consume of beverage and proceed to instill a feeling of hate or gratitude to his superior. George Bush will be shot in the head by a fishmonger called Dave. It will be declared a tragic accident. A nation will rejoice. A cat will induce fur in ball form, and disgust an old women.